


When I Find Love Again

by baekmochi04



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Mentions Of Infidelity, Minor Character Death, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 07:32:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16488329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekmochi04/pseuds/baekmochi04
Summary: Prompt #: 118Title: When I Find Love AgainPairing: Baekhyun/ChanyeolSummary: Baekhyun wake up from coma with his memories of 3 years ago, only to find a man claiming to be his husband by his side.





	When I Find Love Again

**Author's Note:**

> It had been a gruelling 2 months as I wrote this fic. I tried my best and hopefully I did this prompt justice?  
> I'd like to thank my beta E and my friend H for reading this through and giving comments on it while pointing out my mistakes! Tbh, I never expected this fic to be so long...
> 
> Though I cried blood (metaphorically) while writing this, I really enjoyed the process and I hope you guys will enjoy it too! 
> 
> (Do ignore any plot holes cuz I'm really bad at pre-planning lmao)

He slowly opened his eyes, trying to adjust to the brightness surrounding him. It was a blur of lights initially, but as his eyesight adjusted, all he saw was a white ceiling. Eyes roaming around, he caught sight of white walls, curtains, sheets, everything stainless white. What looked out of place was the man sitting on a chair in front of his bed, arms folded across his chest, dozing away. However, with the man’s head lowered and his fringe blocking his face, it was impossible to identify him.

 

He tried to move his fingers, but it just resulted in a twitch. It was that feeling you experience when you fall into a deep sleep, and your body doesn’t move throughout the night, that stiff feeling. Unsure of his current situation, of how he ended up in this room and why his body was feeling so rigid, he tried to call out for the man in front of him. But all that came out from his lips was a croak, causing him to realise how parched his throat was.

 

The sudden sound in the room seemed to rouse the stranger from his sleep, as he slowly lifted his head up and with groggy eyes, looked around to find the source of the sound. As soon as his eyes met the ones who was lying in bed, they widened in surprise, mouth opened and gaping like a fish out of water, but not saying anything. Without a word, the man ran out of the room, with shouts of “Nurse, nurse! Baekhyun’s awake!” echoing down the corridors and into the room.

 

_Nurse? Why am I in the hospital?_ Baekhyun tried to conjure any memory that caused him to end up there, but failed to do so. The last thing he could remember was sitting at his bedroom study table, cramming for his finals the next day. He could also remember settling himself in his own bed before having a good night’s rest, so how did he end up in a hospital?

 

As Baekhyun was struggling with his internal conflict, 2 people walked into the room. one of them he could identify as a doctor from the white coat, the other most probably the man sleeping on the chair a few minutes prior. However, his face looked a little familiar, maybe an acquaintance from school? This man then situated himself beside Baekhyun, poured a glass of water from the jug at the bedside table, helped Baekhyun sit upright in bed and assisted in feeding him water. Although thankful for the water and help, Baekhyun was also feeling slight discomfort at a stranger being kind to him.

 

“Mr Park? How are you feeling?” The doctor looked at Baekhyun and asked, at the same time taking out a pen torch and flashing it into his eyes one at a time, to check for any abnormalities. But from what he knows, he hasn’t changed his last name to Park, so he shoots back a confused look to the doctor. Despite his throat hurting, he managed to croak out, “I’m Byun Baekhyun, doctor. Are you holding the records of the wrong patient?”

 

With this question, the 2 other people in the room looked at each other shocked, especially the one with the familiar face. The doctor quickly composed himself, and continued to ask him the routine questions, “I apologise, Mr Byun. So, as per formalities, can you tell me your name, age and the date?”

 

“I’m Byun Baekhyun, 22 this year and… I’m not really sure about the date but I guess it’s around early November?”

 

The doctor hummed and nodded, quickly scribbling onto the board he was holding.

“Can anyone care to tell me what’s going on though? I remember I was cramming for a test before going to sleep and now I’m in the hospital?”

 

Baekhyun demanded for answers, not wanting to continue being kept in the dark regarding his situation.

 

The doctor shot a look at the man standing beside Baekhyun. Somehow, a look of pain and shock flashed across the man’s face when Baekhyun answered the doctor, as if he was about to cry out. Regardless, the man still nodded, as if the 2 of them communicated through telepathy, and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him to give the doctor and Baekhyun some privacy. Before the man completely stepped out of the room, Baekhyun saw the man bring his hand up to his face and wipe it. _Was he crying?_

 

The doctor turned back to Baekhyun and _was that pity in his eyes?_

 

“I’m sorry I forgot to introduce myself, Mr Byun. I’m Dr Kim Junmyeon, and I’ve been your doctor-in-charge for the past 4 months. Now I know you have a lot of questions running through your head, and I can only answer them to my capacity. For now, I can tell you that I suspect that you’re suffering from amnesia.”

 

At the word ‘amnesia’, it got Baekhyun panicking and breaking down on the inside. _Amnesia? How is this possible? How much exactly have I forgotten? And is the man waiting outside related to me?_

 

Sensing Baekhyun’s inner panic, Dr Kim cleared his throat to gain Baekhyun’s attention once more, and continued.

 

“Your name is Byun Baekhyun, but to be more precise, you’re now known as Park-Byun Baekhyun. You’re married to Park Chanyeol, the man who was with us a moment ago. Also, it’s the 8th of August now and you’re 25 this year, meaning you’ve lost around 3 years’ worth of memories. 4 months ago, you were in a severe car accident, which caused you to be comatose. Regarding your memories, more tests and further observation are needed to conclude whether your memory loss is temporary or permanent. Now I’ll leave you alone with your husband, I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to answer all your questions.”

 

With that, Mr Kim left the room, leaving behind a Baekhyun who was on the verge of a mental breakdown. _3 years’ worth of memories gone? And I’m actually married? And the name Park Chanyeol sounds so damn familiar, was he someone I knew? Argh, can this all just be a bad dream?_

 

Baekhyun shut his eyes tightly, trying to wish away his current reality, hoping that when he opened his eyes once more, he would be back in his own bedroom, snuggled beneath his blankets.

 

The sound of approaching footsteps snapped Baekhyun out of his thoughts, and he opened his eyes, only to see the man, known as his husband, standing right beside him. Finally, Baekhyun managed to have a good and close look at the man called Chanyeol. The first thought he had was ‘ _Wow, this man is really handsome. How did I manage to snatch such a guy?’_ and it slowly morphed to ‘ _Shit, this man is so handsome how is it possible that I’m married to him?’_

 

Big almond-shaped eyes encasing dark brown pupils, Baekhyun could see his reflection as he stared into those pair of eyes. Nose pointed and cherry lips plump and full, there was no denying that the man in front of him was the epitome of handsomeness. _What exactly did this man see in me?_ Baekhyun thought.

 

Chanyeol suddenly clasping his hands broke Baekhyun’s reverie. Tears started to form at the corners of Chanyeol’s eyes, and when he spoke, his voice was on the verge of breaking.

 

“Baekhyun, don’t you remember me? It’s Chanyeol. Your Chanyeol.” He then brought Baekhyun’s hand to his cheek, feeling the familiar sensation of Baekhyun’s warm palm caressing his cheek. Somehow, Chanyeol’s grasp felt so warm and familiar, he swore his heart fluttered a little.

 

Not wanting to lie to the heartbroken man, Baekhyun shook his head and avoided all eye contact, taking his hand back from Chanyeol’s grasp. Despite knowing the fact that this man is actually his husband, it did not sit well with him that someone, whom he totally did not know about, initiated such intimate physical contact.

 

Upon Baekhyun’s reaction, a couple of teardrops escaped Chanyeol’s eyes and he wiped them off with the back of his palm almost instantly. Chanyeol did not probe anymore, and instead chose to leave the room, leaving behind a guilty Baekhyun.

 

* * *

  

It was only about a week later that Baekhyun was given the clear to be discharged from the hospital. _There is a chance that his memories return,_ the doctor explained before his discharge, _but there is also a chance that his memory loss is permanent._

 

During that week Baekhyun was in the hospital, he and Chanyeol barely exchanged any conversation, afraid to trigger any unwanted topics. Meanwhile, Baekhyun’s parents visited him, and they updated him on how much he missed during his 4 months in coma, as well as fill in some of the gaps of his 3-year memory loss. Also, Baekhyun’s best friends from university, Kyungsoo and Jongin, paid several visits. Baekhyun remembered the 2 of them constantly giving each other shy looks and denying their feelings for each other but fast forward 3 years, the 2 of them are about to get married!

 

While it was nice to be updated on what he missed out, but at the back of his head, it was upsetting to know that these memories may never return to him, and that his only ‘memories’ of them would be the ones he conjured up after hearing those stories from a third party. Baekhyun was also feeling left out whenever happily recounted happy memories, all he could do was nod with a smile, since he would never be able to experience that happy feeling of that moment.

 

But the intriguing thing was that no one mentioned his and Chanyeol’s marriage, as if they knew it was a touchy subject. Whenever their conversation was heading toward that direction, they were fast enough to change the topic. Maybe Chanyeol mentioned to them how much Baekhyun was still in denial of their marriage.

 

In the end, no matter how much the subject of his marriage was avoided, he still had to face reality. Fast forward to the present, Baekhyun was just discharged a few hours ago and was now sitting alone on the loveseat in the middle of the living room of his and Chanyeol’s apartment. Just from his roaming eyes, Baekhyun could tell that their place was completely furnished by himself, since the furniture and theme was all to his liking. At the same time, Chanyeol was in the kitchen, preparing their lunch.

 

Baekhyun didn’t dare to move an inch as after all, it was an unfamiliar environment and it wasn’t polite to roam around someone’s house so freely. But after much thought, Baekhyun realised that it was also his own house and that he had as much authority to wander around the house.

 

Mustering whatever courage he had, Baekhyun slowly got up from his seat and started to walk towards a low wooden cabinet that was near him. Oddly, all the photo frames were facing down, hiding the photos stored in them from the world. Curious, Baekhyun decided to flip a few over, just to satisfy his curiosity. However, what the photos encased were something Baekhyun knew he would come across someday, but just not this soon. Those several photo frames held photos of Chanyeol and Baekhyun; there was a photo of the both of them in graduation gowns, standing next to each other and Baekhyun was on his toes giving Chanyeol a kiss on the cheek. Another photo had Chanyeol back hugging Baekhyun while the both of them looked into each other’s eyes, filled with love. There was also another photo of the two of them snuggled up in bed, with Chanyeol spooning Baekhyun from behind. It was most probably a candid photo taken by one of their friends who decided to barge in on their private time.

 

Looking at these few photos, there was a dull throbbing sensation at the back of Baekhyun’s head, as if these memories were coming to him. However, there was a larger photo frame that he had yet to look at. With trembling hands, Baekhyun lifted up the frame.

 

It was once again, Chanyeol and Baekhyun, but this time with a young girl, no older than 3 years old. It was the background of a park, Baekhyun could tell, and with the obvious picnic mat beneath them and the half-eaten food as seen in the photo, the 3 of them were having a picnic. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were seated cross-legged right beside each other, with the girl seated comfortably in Baekhyun’s lap. It was a photo of a happy family. Why was it that it was Baekhyun in the photo, but the photo looked so foreign to him? _Who is that little girl in the picture?_ Baekhyun tried to recall, but as soon as he tried to do so, a sharp throb hit his head. He cried out in pain and dropped the photo frame on the ground, while he squatted down and cradled his head with his hands, trying to handle the pain.

 

Chanyeol, who was in the midst of stirring the pasta in the pan, heard a cry of pain and the sound of something hitting the floor. Sensing something terrible must have happened, he immediately stopped whatever he was doing, switched off the stove and ran out to the living room, where Baekhyun was. The sight that greeted him clenched his heart.

 

Baekhyun was on the ground, knees to his head and hands holding it, face hidden, obviously in pain. Not far from him, was the picture of the 2 of them and Minhee at the park together, one of the few pictures he had of the 3 of them together. Chanyeol had a rough idea of what had happened – Dr Kim had warned him beforehand before bringing Baekhyun home.

 

He rushed over to Baekhyun’s side, checking if he was hurt anywhere. He called out for Baekhyun, but he didn’t respond in anyway. Baekhyun’s unresponsiveness caused Chanyeol to reached out and tap his shoulder instead. Baekhyun’s head jolted upwards and as if he was broken from a trance, looked around to find the source of the touch. Upon seeing Chanyeol, he visibly relaxed.

 

“Hey, are you alright? Do you need me to call Dr Kim?”

 

“No, I’m alright. I just need more rest.”

 

Chanyeol wordlessly nodded, helped Baekhyun get onto his feet and led him to a bedroom. When Chanyeol opened the door to let him enter, Baekhyun noticed how neat the room was, but what stood out was that there was only a single bed flushed against the corner of the room.

 

“Did we not sleep on the same bed when we were married?”

 

“We did, but I think you would be uncomfortable with sharing a bed with me,” Chanyeol hesitantly replied. “This is our guestroom, I guess you would prefer your own room for now.”

 

Baekhyun hummed in reply and walked towards the bed. Chanyeol, not wanting to disturb Baekhyun’s rest time, closed the door, and returned to the kitchen, continuing his preparation for lunch. _Well, I guess it’s just me for lunch then._

Back in the guestroom, Baekhyun laid in bed and stared at the white ceiling above him. When his head throbbed in pain earlier, after looking at the photo, he felt something coming on to him, like a memory. He could remember bits and pieces of that certain event. He could remember laughing and playing happily with Chanyeol and that small girl, he could also remember nagging at the 2 of them to keep still as they managed to get the help of a random passer-by to help them take the photo. Anything other than these 2 fragments of the memory, if Baekhyun tried to recall, his head will throb in hurt. But just from this faint memory, Baekhyun could feel that there was hope to recover the rest of the memories he had lost, and he couldn’t wait to retrieve them once again.

 

With this, Baekhyun closed his eyes and willed himself into slumber, noting to himself to ask Chanyeol more about their life after he wakes up.

 

* * *

 

When Baekhyun awoke from his nap, he noticed that his room was shrouded in darkness, the only source of light being the moonlight entering from the window beside the bed. He felt around the bed, trying to look for his handphone to check the time, but suddenly remembered he had left it on the sofa in the living room. At that instant, his stomach decided to growl out in hunger. _That’s right, I haven’t eaten since yesterday._ Baekhyun then had no choice but to head outside for dinner.

 

When Baekhyun stumbled into the dining room, he found himself facing a table full of his favourite dishes – soy braised chicken, green onion pancake and tofu stew. Even before he could ask aloud where did all these foods come from, Chanyeol came into view. He was wearing a blue apron, which adorned a few stains here and there, while holding a bowl of rice in each of his hands. This obviously gave away the fact that all these dishes were meticulously prepared by Chanyeol.

 

It was only after he had put down the bowls of rice onto the table when Chanyeol noticed Baekhyun’s presence in the dining room.

 

“Hey, you’re finally awake, and just in time for dinner. I prepared all your favourite food, which I hoped you missed after all that hospital food, so do eat more!”

 

Not knowing what to reply, Baekhyun simply nodded and took a seat, before hesitantly reaching out for the chopsticks to pick up some food. Chanyeol, upon seeing Baekhyun starting to dig in, took off his apron and hung it on his chair, then digging into his food as well.

 

The first 10 minutes into dinner, not a single word was exchanged. Both ate in silence, not sure as to what to talk about. Chanyeol, on the outside, didn’t seem to mind the silence as he focused on his meal and continued eating. Baekhyun, on the other hand, was extremely nervous with the thick silence present in the room.

 

After much consideration, Baekhyun decided to break the silence by asking Chanyeol about the photo he had seen earlier.

 

“Hey Chanyeol, I know that the both of us are married, but who was that little girl in the photo?”

 

At the mention of the girl, Chanyeol’s busy hands stopped whatever they were doing, he put down his chopsticks and bowl and looked at Baekhyun.

 

“Aside from the two of us in this house, there was a third. She was Minhee, a child the both of us decided to adopt a while after we got married.”

 

Sensing the unspoken question of _so where is she now_ , Chanyeol continued.

 

“As you can see, there’s only the two of us in this apartment. Minhee isn’t here with us anymore.”

 

_What happened to her?_ Baekhyun wanted to ask, but he sensed that the mood had become solemn and it was kind of inappropriate to ask. Baekhyun mumbled out an apology, for bringing back such unwanted memories for Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol simply shook his head, “It’s alright. You were also her dad, you have the right to know what happened, but just not today, maybe someday.”

 

Baekhyun could only nod his head, for he didn’t want to force his curiosity onto Chanyeol, while reopening old wounds.

 

For the rest of the dinner, the two of them ate in silence; Baekhyun too afraid to bring up unwanted topics, and Chanyeol too afraid to talk about the past, in case Baekhyun remembered something unwanted. Baekhyun also never mentioned to Chanyeol that he had managed to recall fragments of that event.

 

* * *

 

The following few weeks were gruelling. Chanyeol and Baekhyun barely managed to sustain any conversation. Any attempt by either party was replied with either a single word or a short answer that the conversation ended faster than both of them intended to. There was constantly a haze of awkwardness shrouding the room, and neither knew how to overcome that. Both of them were aware that this situation shouldn’t continue, but neither knew how to break it.

 

Also, throughout those few weeks, Baekhyun didn’t have anymore episodes of him recalling any memories from the past 3 years. He had just been too afraid to ask Chanyeol, and was afraid to experience the pain he had gone through after looking at those few photos when he first moved back. Baekhyun decided that he wanted to take it slow; even if his memories don’t return, he would want to make new ones to replace them.

 

On the other hand, Baekhyun was able to get along fine with Kyungsoo and Jongin. Though feeling as if he was third-wheeling the couple, the three of them had occasionally met up for brunch, or just simply sat at a café to catch up.

 

Just from conversing with the couple, he was able to find out a little more of his past from their perspective. Apparently, Baekhyun had managed to scrape through university and graduated with second class honours. He had also met Chanyeol during their last year in school, both of them at the age of 23. They dated and got married before Baekhyun’s 24th birthday. However, around a week after their 1st wedding anniversary, the car accident happened and from the couple’s knowledge, the police ruled it as an accident due to the hazardous weather conditions.

 

Listening to Kyungsoo and Jongin talk about his life in the past 3 years, it felt so foreign yet familiar. He had been through each one of those memories physically, but he couldn’t remember them at all. This didn’t trigger any of Baekhyun’s memories to return at all, where Baekhyun was a little disappointed. From the couple’s account, he and Chanyeol seemed like a lovey-dovey couple who everyone was jealous of. But the sad reality now is that the both of them were barely speaking to each other. Also, upon hearing the cause of the car accident which had put him in a coma, it somehow didn’t sit well with Baekhyun and he wanted to find out more, but at the same time, it brought about a dreadful feeling at the bottom of his stomach.

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun was alone at home, watching television one day when an advertisement for a movie trailer appeared on the screen. It was about a young magician overcoming social norms to be together with the girl he loves, who sadly does not belong to his world. Being a sucker for such romantic movies, Baekhyun really wanted to watch this movie. But at the same time, he didn’t want to watch it alone. However, who could he ask?

 

Kyungsoo? He would definitely drag Jongin along and Baekhyun would just end up third-wheeling the two of them. His other university friends? He hadn’t seen them at all after he regained consciousness and he did not know if anything had happened within the 3 years, so not calling would be a safe option. After screening all the choices through his head, the only available option left would be to ask Chanyeol to accompany him.

 

At that very instant, the sound of the main door being unlocked could be heard. It was Chanyeol returning from work. Meek ‘Hi’s were exchanged before Chanyeol headed to his room to change out of his office wear, and Baekhyun’s attention returning to the television screen in front of him.

 

After a few minutes, Chanyeol emerged from the room and headed to the kitchen with the intention to prepare dinner, just like he had been doing for the past 1 year they had been married. Baekhyun then remembered that he was supposed to ask Chanyeol out to the movies.

 

Baekhyun shyly walked into the kitchen and cleared his throat, making his presence known to Chanyeol. Chanyeol was busy washing his hands at that moment and when he heard the sound of someone’s throat clearing, he turned around, directing a “Yes?” at Baekhyun.

 

Baekhyun didn’t dare to look Chanyeol in the eyes while asking the question, especially after weeks of silence.

 

“Erm so I was wondering… would you like to go to the movies with me? There’s a movie I really want to watch, but I don’t want to watch it alone. But it’s alright if you’re busy and can’t make it……”

 

Chanyeol chirped out a “Of course!” immediately after hearing the invitation, with no hesitation. It was _Baekhyun asking him out. How could he say no?_

Baekhyun, hearing how excitedly Chanyeol replied, heaved a sigh of relief and shot a shy smile.

 

“I’ll book tickets for this weekend then?”

 

Chanyeol nodded and Baekhyun walked back to the living room, immediately booking movie tickets for two for this weekend on his handphone.

 

Even after Baekhyun left the kitchen, Chanyeol was still fixated at his position, gazing into nowhere and lost in his thoughts. He can’t believe Baekhyun actually asked him out for a movie! Could it be that Baekhyun wants to spend time with him? Or that Baekhyun is trying to retrieve his lost memories through going out with Chanyeol? Regardless, it was still a date with his dear husband and he couldn’t wait for the weekends to come, even though it was only just Tuesday. With this, Chanyeol went back to preparing dinner, with a wide grin on his face and throbbing anticipation in his heart.

 

* * *

 

The next few days passed by in a blur, but at the same time, growing anticipation and anxiety residing in both Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s hearts.

 

The movie was previewing around lunchtime, yet Baekhyun was up and early, attempting to prepare breakfast for the both of them. Chanyeol had stayed up late the previous night to finish up some documents, to free up his weekend for Baekhyun, so while being guilty, Baekhyun decided to let him sleep in and prepare breakfast, as a form of thanks at the same time, for the company to the movies. To be honest, in the past few weeks after Baekhyun’s discharge from the hospital, all his meals were handmade by Chanyeol himself.

 

In the morning, Baekhyun would wake up to the smell of breakfast being set on the table, and he would proceed to have breakfast with Chanyeol, but of course with the both of them exchanging minimal words. For lunch, Chanyeol would pre-cook food for Baekhyun along with breakfast, and store them in the fridge in boxes of Tupperware. Baekhyun simply needed to microwave the premade food and wash the boxes after he was done. Chanyeol would always reach home from work around late afternoons, and he would promptly prepare dinner.

 

With this, Baekhyun had never needed to make any food for himself, though he deemed himself fully capable. But the truth is Baekhyun’s cooking skills are elementary, maybe even lower than elementary. Maybe this is why there was smoke being emitted from the pan, from his attempt to cook sunny side-up eggs.

 

_How did Chanyeol manage to live with me during that one year of our marriage? Did he really cook for us all the time?_ Baekhyun thought, while panicking, trying to find a way to stop the eggs from burning.

 

“Is everything alright? Why do I smell something burning?” A deep and groggy voice came from behind Baekhyun. It was Chanyeol, who was awaked by the burning smell.

 

Baekhyun, upon hearing Chanyeol’s arrival, turned around to face him and looked at him guiltily. When he saw the burnt state the eggs had ended up in, Chanyeol sighed and took over the position in front of the pan, gently pushing Baekhyun aside.

 

After Chanyeol was done cleaning up the mess Baekhyun had unintentionally caused, he took over the job of cooking the eggs. Meanwhile, Baekhyun didn’t want to cause anymore trouble, so instead of just standing around, he went ahead to set up the table.

 

Ultimately, breakfast consisted of perfectly done sunny side-up eggs, accompanied with slightly burnt toast and sausages. It was quite obvious which food item was prepared by whom. Nonetheless, when he saw Chanyeol take a bite into a sausage, he couldn’t help but squeak out, “So how is it? Is it still edible?”

 

“It’s great,” Chanyeol commented while munching away. “I got to say I’ve never tasted such great food from you before.”

 

Not meaning to, Chanyeol had referred to the past Baekhyun. But before he could apologise for his slip-up, Baekhyun flashed him a relieved smile.

 

“I’m glad it turned out fine. Guess I got to work on my cooking skills so that you can enjoy more of my cooking, and that you won’t need to cook for me all the time?”

 

It was the first time since Baekhyun’s discharge that he had directed a smile at Chanyeol. Upon seeing the beautiful smile that he had missed so much, Chanyeol couldn’t help but smile along and nod, continuing to eat breakfast happily.

 

Although no more words were exchanged during breakfast, it was the first time the both of them ate in comfortable silence. After breakfast, the two of them changed into casual wear and Chanyeol drove them to the cinema, excitement blooming within them.

 

* * *

 

Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun had enjoyed the movie very much. Baekhyun’s nose was still red from all that sobbing after the scene where the main character sacrificed himself for love, while Chanyeol couldn’t help chuckling upon seeing Baekhyun cry at the movie.

 

For Chanyeol, it brought back memories of the two of them going for movie dates, and how Baekhyun had easily shed tears at both touching and sad scenes.

 

Hearing Baekhyun still sniffing away, out of habit, Chanyeol took out a piece of tissue from his pockets and wiped Baekhyun’s nose for him. At the loving gesture, Baekhyun was taken aback but at the same time blushed at their intimacy. Chanyeol realised what he was doing and quickly withdrew his hand. He frantically blubbered out apologies, but Baekhyun shyly giggled and without breaking eye contact, whispered out an “It’s okay”.

 

Baekhyun’s heart fluttered at the sight of Chanyeol panicking as somehow, it looked adorable in his eyes. Along with the way Chanyeol showed concern previously, Baekhyun was sure his face was red from all that blushing.

 

Chanyeol was entranced at how Baekhyun was cutely blushing, and thought of ideas to prolong this date, for he was sure things will return to normal if the both of them returned home that instant, and he really wanted to hang out with Baekhyun a little more, since it gave him more hope that the old Baekhyun may return.

 

“Hey, how about we grab a coffee or something? Not sure if you remember, but your favourite café is just ‘round the corner.”

 

Of course, Baekhyun remembered. It was his all-time favourite café since high school – he would always head there after school to either study, or simply to indulge himself in books. Guess this was something that didn’t change for the past 3 years.

 

Excited, Baekhyun nodded, fluffy ebony hair bouncing atop his head. With this, the both of them walked down the pathway, side by side, exchanging small talk and commentary about the movie they had just watched.

 

* * *

 

_Fluffs and Puffs._ That was the name of the café, and it’s interior certainly lived up to its name. Adorning pastel-coloured walls, there were also fairy lights hung around, with paintings of clouds on each wall. At the back of the café, there was a special wall where the staff pasted polaroids of their frequent customers. At each table, there would be a soft toy on each seat for customers to hug.

 

Nostalgia hit Baekhyun hard when he stepped into the café and was welcomed by the sweet aroma of pastries and cakes. Baekhyun paced around the café, looking around to see if anything had changed within the past 3 years. Certainly, nothing had changed – it all remained the way Baekhyun remembered. When Baekhyun reached the wall full of polaroids, he quickly scanned around to find the one they had put up when he was in his first year of university.

 

But instead of finding his own polaroid, his eyes landed on another polaroid. It had Baekhyun in it, but he wasn’t alone. Chanyeol was in it too. The both of them were sharing a strawberry milkshake, each sucking on their own straw, and looking into each other’s eyes. It was certainly a lovey-dovey scene to any outsider, showing the world how in love the two are in.

 

“This polaroid was taken about a year after we started dating,” Chanyeol suddenly appeared by his side. “You loved this café so much, you dragged me here so often that the owner started to recognise me too. You even suggested to have our first date here.”

 

Baekhyun smiled after hearing that. It certainly sounded like something he’ll suggest and do.

 

“By the way, I found the two of us a table and I’ve already placed our orders. They should arrive soon.”

 

“How did you know what I wanted to order?”

 

“A cream puff and strawberry milkshake, right? You always order these two whenever we visit this place.”

 

Baekhyun flashed Chanyeol a smile as a silent form of thanks, and Chanyeol led them to their seats.

 

Barely a minute after they were seated down, their orders arrived. Apparently, Chanyeol had ordered for himself their chocolate cheesecake and café latte. The moment their orders were placed in front of their eyes, they began to dig into their slices of cake.

 

In that two hours that they spent at the café, they talked and discussed animatedly about their hobbies and likes, and almost anything under the sun. Chanyeol knew almost everything about Baekhyun, but Baekhyun didn’t know anything about Chanyeol, or more like he _forgot._

 

During the time they spent together talking while eating, Baekhyun found out that the both of them actually had so many points in common. Both of them preferred dogs over cats (Chanyeol even owns one back at his parents’ place), both agreed that DC heroes were much better than Marvel, and both of them absolutely loved the band ‘ROCKERS DELIGHT’ (to his surprise, he also found out that Chanyeol was currently working as an audio technician under the company the band was in).

 

He also realised how easy-going Chanyeol was, and how much fun it was to chat with him. There was never a single awkward moment during their conversation, Baekhyun wondered why the both of them hadn’t opened up earlier. Baekhyun also found himself liking the wide smile Chanyeol’s lips would stretch into, as well as the loud boisterous laughter the said man will burst into whenever something funny came up. Also, Baekhyun kept thinking about how handsome Chanyeol was, not that he already didn’t know. But upon looking at Chanyeol as a whole, both regarding looks and personality, it was no wonder the past Baekhyun fell in love with him. Baekhyun could also feel himself slowly falling in love with Chanyeol.

 

* * *

 

After that movie and café date _,_ Chanyeol and Baekhyun started to converse more frequently. _Much more frequently._ Baekhyun actually found joy in chatting with Chanyeol. During their meals together, they would basically talk about anything under the sun – Chanyeol’s day at work, any subject that they saw online, or even random topics that they thought of on the spot. Gone were the days filled with awkward tension, now it was as if Baekhyun had known Chanyeol for a long, long time. Baekhyun even found himself not minding to recall his past memories, wanting to know Chanyeol even better.

 

* * *

 

Chanyeol had to leave Baekhyun alone in the apartment for a few days due to a business trip, but assured Baekhyun that he would text back often. With the assurance, Baekhyun was less upset at Chanyeol leaving him alone.

 

It was the 4th day of the trip and Baekhyun was already bored to death. Without Chanyeol around, he had no one to play with, or physically talk with. Kyungsoo was busy with Jongin, so calling them out to hang out wasn’t an option. It was starting to become suffocating, being trapped within the four walls of the house without anything to do.

 

Baekhyun was lying on the sofa, being bored to death when he remembered that there was a storage room in the apartment, and he had yet to step in there since he was discharged from the hospital. Curious as to what the room might contain, he decided to do a little exploring.

 

Just as Baekhyun expected from a storage room, it was a little dusty and relatively cluttered. Unexpected items could be found as well – a rocking horse, a box of Legos, doll houses and other toys. Baekhyun’s heart squirmed a little at the sight of these toys. _Did these toys belong to the girl in the picture? Minhee, was it? What exactly happened to her?_

Though his head hurt a little, questions ran through his mind like a train. There was just so many unanswered questions, only questions that his past self could answer. Having a gut feeling that the storage room might hold more answers regarding his past, Baekhyun decided to probe a little more.

 

Eyes fixated on the artefacts neatly places in cupboards and on shelves, he failed to spot a wooden box lying in the middle of his path, causing him to trip over it.  Before he could curse out loud at the item that caused his pain, his eyes laid on it, and it was as if the box was beckoning him to open it. Without a word, he picked up the box and brought it out to the living room.

 

After cleaning off the layer of dust on the surface of the box, Baekhyun placed it on the TV table in front of him and sat on the floor, staring at it. He took a few deep breaths, mentally preparing himself for the contents to be found in the box.

 

_Here goes nothing._ He opened the box and took out its contents piece by piece.

 

The first photograph he took out was a photo of him and Chanyeol, laughing happily at each other, eyes turning into crescents. Judging from the background, it must have been a date at _Fluffs and Puffs._ Staring at the photograph a little longer, he had flashes of what seems to be memories of that event popping up in his mind.

 

_“Hey, Chanyeol! You have something of your lips!”_

_Baekhyun then proceeded to wipe some of his cake’s icing onto the corner of Chanyeol’s lips with his fingers._

_“Then why not you help me wipe it off?” Chanyeol playfully asked._

_Baekhyun smirked and leaned in, sticking his tongue out and licking off the icing, making sure his tongue lingered a little longer. Chanyeol blushed at his boyfriend’s actions, even though he always knew Baekhyun was the daring one in their relationship._

_Baekhyun laughed loudly at the sight of Chanyeol flustering. Upon seeing his boyfriend laugh so heartily, Chanyeol felt a bubble of laughter arising, before he also burst into laughter with his boyfriend._

 

A sharp pain shot through Baekhyun’s head, although bearable, but _was that a memory_? Wanting to remember more of these little events with Chanyeol, he quickly continued to look through the box.

 

The next photograph he took out was a photo of him and Chanyeol, tightly hugging each other under a sky of fairy lights.

 

_“Chanyeol, when you said that you’d bring me out for a special date, you didn’t mention that you’d be doing all of this! The fairy lights look so pretty!”_

_Baekhyun looked up, appreciating the view of the many fairy lights hanging above him, located in the centre of the park. He was too distracted at the amazing sight in front of his eyes, when Chanyeol called his name._

_Baekhyun hummed and turned around, only to be greeted at the sight of his boyfriend kneeling before him. His heart started racing at the sight,_ it can’t be…

 

_“Baekhyun, although we haven’t been dating for long, but I’m very sure that you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”_

_It was only the start of Chanyeol’s speech and Baekhyun could already feel the tears threatening to escape._

_“I want to spend every waking moment with you, regardless of good or bad times. I want to be in every good memory of yours, and turn the bad ones into good ones. I want to be the one to kiss away every worry that you’ll have. And I want to be your reason to smile. So Baek, will you be willing to spend the rest of your life with this dummy?”_

_Chanyeol took out a small velvet box from his back pocket, opening it to reveal a silver band, encrusted with a few diamonds._

_Baekhyun choked out a sob and nodded, unable to trust his voice. The moment he silently said ‘yes’, Chanyeol jumped up and brought him into a tight embrace._

Baekhyun teared up at the memory of how Chanyeol proposed under the many fairy lights, since he remembered that his childhood fantasy was to be proposed under the starry night sky. As he was caught up in the memory, a shiny object in the box caught his attention.

 

It was their engagement ring.

 

Baekhyun suddenly realised that although he knew they were married, he never noticed the absence of the ring on his finger. _The hospital must’ve given this back to Chanyeol after my accident._

There was also an origami heart beside the ring. Picking it up, he saw writings inside of it. Curious, he unfolded it to read what was inside.

 

_‘Dear Papa and Daddy,_

_Happy Fathers’ Day!_

_Thank you for all the love you have given Minhee!_

_Minhee loves you too!_

_Love,_

_Your Minhee’_

Baekhyun remembered, very shortly after they got married, they adopted Minhee, who was 6 at that time. But where Minhee was, Baekhyun still didn’t know. At the back of his mind, the worst possible scenario was calling out to him but he refused to believe it.

 

It was until Baekhyun found a newspaper cutting at laid at the bottom of the box, slightly crumpled. He took the piece of paper out with trembling hands – it was an article.

 

‘UNFORTUNATE ACCIDENT LEAVES 2 DEAD AND ANOTHER IN A COMA’, the article read.

 

His head started throbbing after reading the headlines, and the moment his eyes landed on a picture of the accident site, an unbearable sharp pain shot through his head. He cradled his head with both hands while screaming out, wanting the pain to go away as black spots started to appear in his vision.

 

Before he completely gave in to the pain and darkness and collapsed onto the floor, he faintly heard the sound of the door opening and someone shouting his name in worry.

 

* * *

 

He woke up to the sounds of faint beeping, the smell of disinfectants filling his nostrils as he struggled to open his eyes. As his vision focused, all he could see was Chanyeol’s face, etched with worry.

 

“Oh my gosh, you’re awake! I’ll go get a nurse!”

 

Chanyeol then ran out of the room to inform any nurse or doctor. Baekhyun groaned as he took in his surroundings, struggling to sit up at the same time. _I’m in the hospital again, what happened?_

Soon enough, Chanyeol ran into the room with a doctor in tow. The doctor took out his penlight and Baekhyun pliantly allowed him to check him.

 

“Alright, Mr Park, you seem completely fine now. You may stay for another night for further observations, or you may sign the discharge papers and you’re free to go.”

 

The doctor clicked his penlight back into his coat pocket as he explained, before bowing to the couple and leaving the room since his job was done.

 

“C-Chanyeol…”

 

Baekhyun wanted to ask Chanyeol what had happened, but what left his throat was a scratchy version of his name, pain shooting up his throat due to its dryness. Chanyeol noticed it and immediately poured a glass of water for Baekhyun with the jug at the bedside table, passing it to him as the smaller chugged it down thirstily.

 

“You’ve been unconscious for a whole day, Baek. I came home just in time to see you fainting? Did you know how worried I was to see you collapse right in front of me?”

 

Chanyeol was on the brink of shouting at the smaller, but managed to keep his cool. Baekhyun could sense how worried Chanyeol was, and looked down at his crossed hands, muttering out a ‘sorry’ in guilt.

 

Chanyeol sighed and sat on the bed beside Baekhyun, taking the small hands into his larger ones and clasping them.

 

“Please don’t worry me like this ever again, alright?”

 

Baekhyun gave a small hum and nodded.

 

* * *

 

Despite his promise to Chanyeol, Baekhyun was adamant on finding more things that could possibly help him recover his memories, even if they might physically hurt him again like the previous time.

 

It was about a week after returning from the hospital. Chanyeol had to leave for another business trip for 3 days, but not before making Baekhyun promise not to go snooping around again. Baekhyun verbally promised the taller, but apologised in his heart for not keeping it.

 

On the 2nd day of Chanyeol’s trip, Baekhyun returned to the storage room to try to find the wooden box he had found the other day. However, even after searching every singly corner of the room, the box wasn’t in sight. _Chanyeol must’ve hidden it somewhere in the house._

Frustrated, he tried to rack his brains as to where Chanyeol might have possibly hidden it. It was then when he realised that there was still one room that he hasn’t stepped into since he was discharged after his accident – the master bed room.

 

Albeit being the only one in the entire apartment, Baekhyun took quiet steps towards the said room and gently opened the door. The moment he stepped into the room and flicked on the light switch, the reassuring scent of Chanyeol entered his nostrils, making him feel warm. It was as if his body remembers the scent of his lover, even though he lost the memories of their time together.

 

Although it was the first time he stepped into that room, a sense of familiarity washed over him, making him feel like crying for no reason. The room was neat, arranged and designed to exactly how he would have liked it. The king-sized bed was made nicely, and a wedding photo of him and Chanyeol hung over the bed frame.

 

Across the wall beside the bed was several polaroid photos pegged onto a string. Baekhyun took a few steps closer to the photos – they consisted on him and Chanyeol on their different dates, the couple in many endearing poses. Baekhyun’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of the two of them being so loving, a small smile appearing at the corner of his mouth.

 

At the corner of the room was Chanyeol’s desk, papers scattered all over its surface. Baekhyun slightly chuckled at Chanyeol’s messiness, since he had always seen the man as a close-to-perfect guy.

 

But shoved at the corner of the desk sat the wooden box Baekhyun had been searching for. He internally rejoiced before sitting at the desk and placing the box in front of him, before opening it once more.

 

The items were all positioned nicely inside just like before, as if Baekhyun hadn’t taken out its contents the week before. He dug through the box before laying his eyes on the one item that he had constantly been thinking about – the newspaper article.

 

Since his discharge, nobody had spoken to him about the accident at all, only hearing about it being an accident from Kyungsoo and Jongin, and Chanyeol seemed to avoid any talk about the accident at all.

 

Taking in a few deep breaths, Baekhyun readied himself before reading the contents of the article.

 

_‘At 1:37am of 5 th April, an unfortunate car accident had occurred along a road junction in Dongdaemun-gu. There was a heavy rain when the accident had occurred, and police had ruled it as an accident, due to the unfortunate weather. The victims involved was suspected to be a family of 3, however only one had managed to survive, although landing in an indefinite coma. The two victims were identified to be Park Minhee and Park Jaehyun.”_

Just from reading this excerpt of the article, Baekhyun had started to feel nauseous, head starting to feel dizzy. He quickly ran to the bathroom and gagged, emptying the contents in his stomach. As he heaved, many thoughts had zoomed across his mind.

 

_So, I was the only survivor? Minhee was also involved in the accident? And who the hell is Jaehyun? What exactly happened? Was it really an accident?_

His head ached badly from all the new information he had to take in. He knew he had to interrogate Chanyeol, since he could possibly be the only other person who knew what exactly happened. After calming himself down, he picked himself up and cleaned after his mess before heading back to the bedroom to erase any trace of him having entered the room.

 

With all that done, he returned to his own room and decided to take a nap in an attempt to sooth his throbbing head, as well as to temporarily relieve himself of the shock.

 

* * *

 

2 more days had passed in the blink of an eye and Chanyeol was finally back. Baekhyun pretended as if nothing had happened when Chanyeol arrived home, greeting him like normal. Dinner was eaten in silence, as Baekhyun didn’t know what to talk about, especially since the accident was all he could think about. Chanyeol had tried to break the silence, but he only managed to get short responses from the smaller, as if his mind wasn’t there at all.

 

After the dinner, Chanyeol sat Baekhyun down to ask if there was anything wrong, but the smaller just reassured him that he was still feeling a little unwell after his discharge. Chanyeol was still a little suspicious, but accepted the excuse for now.

 

On the other hand, Baekhyun still had that queasy feeling at the bottom of his stomach ever since he discovered about the accident. He had a strong feeling that there was much more to it, but he didn’t dare ask Chanyeol about it as it would indirectly admit that he had defied Chanyeol’s orders not to further look into the incident. All he could do was to do his investigation without letting Chanyeol know. He needed to find closure.

 

* * *

 

It had been a few weeks but to Baekhyun’s dismay, there was nothing else he could find regarding the accident. Even the online articles reporting the accident didn’t mention anything else. He had tried to ask Kyungsoo and Jongin, but the both of them were of no help at all. He was starting to get frustrated at the lack of answers to his own questions, and he deduced that the only way to find out was through Chanyeol, the only person who seemed to know everything about the accident.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Baek. Let’s go out for dinner? I’ve reserved a table at one of the restaurants downtown.”

 

Chanyeol had just returned from work that evening and he had specifically told Baekhyun not to prepare dinner before he had left that morning. Baekhyun could only nod in agreement since the reservation was already made and he didn’t want to trouble Chanyeol to cancel it. But deep down, he also didn’t want to see Chanyeol’s rejected face.

 

Despite the dying urge to ask Chanyeol all the burning questions he had, he couldn’t deny the blossoming love he had for the taller at the bottom of his heart. Possibly, there was some remnants of love his past self had left behind after he had lost his memories and with each new memory he created with Chanyeol in the present, he felt that love growing bigger.

 

“Don’t forget to dress nicely!”

 

Baekhyun was a little confused as to why they had to dress nicely for a casual dinner, but nonetheless he did.

 

When they arrived at the restaurant Chanyeol had made a reservation at, Baekhyun then understood why they had to dress well. It was a Michelin-starred restaurant for goodness sake! There was not a single person dressed casually; everyone was dressed so formerly! If he had dressed as per normal, he couldn’t have imagined how awkward it would have been to dine there. Baekhyun had read reviews for this restaurant online when he was bored at home. Apparently, the food there was to die for, albeit a little on the pricier side. Reservations there were also hard to get as many were dying to have a taste of the delicacies there; reservations had to made months prior. _Does that mean Chanyeol had already planned for this dinner months ago? Even after he knew that I had lost my memories? What’s the special occasion?_

 

After being shown to their seat at a corner of the posh restaurant, they were instantly served a glass on red wine each.

 

“Cheers, Baek.”

 

Baekhyun lifted his glass and clinked it with Chanyeol’s before taking a small sip. Definitely it was good quality wine; the fruity aroma filling his nostrils as the harmonious flavours of it burst on his taste buds. This also meant that this wine was no cheap wine. Gently placing his glass down onto the table, he asked Chanyeol what the special occasion was that they were spending their dinner at such a fine restaurant.

 

“I guess you don’t remember, but today is our anniversary, the day you said yes to becoming my boyfriend.”

 

Baekhyun immediately felt a twinge in his heart. He felt guilty for it, despite knowing that it wasn’t his fault he didn’t remember such an important date. Chanyeol noticed Baekhyun’s downcast eyes and tried to reassure him.

 

“It’s okay if you don’t remember! Take this as a date then?”

 

Chanyeol also winked, causing the blood to rush up to the smaller’s cheeks. Baekhyun’s heart was fluttering upon the declaration of the dinner being a date. Baekhyun then returned a shy smile to Chanyeol.

 

The rest of the dinner went well; surprisingly Chanyeol had ordered Baekhyun’s favourite – Mentaiko-sauced pasta topped with a fat slice of baked cod fish. On the other hand, Chanyeol had ordered for himself a Wagyu Steak topped with wine sauce. The worry of the high bill was chucked at the back of Baekhyun’s head and he decided to focus on spending quality time with Chanyeol.

 

The dinner was filled with pleasant conversations and laughter. After the main delicacies, dessert was also served and it was a slice of strawberry cake that Baekhyun loved. Baekhyun’s heart swelled at the thoughtful act of Chanyeol ordering all his favourite dishes, it was a small act yet it was enough to make the smaller fall in love deeper.

 

At the end of the dinner, Baekhyun had fought with Chanyeol to split the bill, but the taller was adamant on paying for everything, since he was the working one. Ultimately, Baekhyun had to let Chanyeol foot the bill since in fact, he was the one freeloading at home. With puffed cheeks, Baekhyun declared that he would be the one to foot the bill at their next dinner, making Chanyeol chuckle at his cuteness, and the unspoken promise of a next date.

                                                                                                                  

By the time the both of them reached home, it was already 11pm. Baekhyun was about to prepare to go to bed when Chanyeol stopped him by the arm and sat him down at the sofa, telling him to wait a moment before disappearing into his room, and Baekhyun obediently did. It had barely been a minute before Chanyeol emerged from the room, but hiding something behind his back.

 

“Baekhyun, you might not remember that today is our anniversary, but I’d still like to celebrate it with you. So, happy anniversary, my love.”

 

Chanyeol then brought forward what he had been hiding. It was a silver ring, and upon closer inspection, there were engravings on the inner surface of the ring, which was actually the visual representation of the soundwaves when he had said “I do” during their wedding.

 

“I had initially planned to give you this ring during out anniversary, but there was a delay and the accident happened, so I wasn’t able to give it to you. I hope you can accept this?”

 

Baekhyun could feel tears welling up at the corner of his eyes. The past Baekhyun might have experienced it several times, but never in his memories had anyone done something so romantic. Not trusting his voice, he weakly nodded. A bright smile immediately flashed across Chanyeol’s face, as he lifted up Baekhyun’s right hand, and slipped the ring on to his ring finger. It was a perfect fit.

 

Caught up in the moment, Baekhyun confessed.

 

“I think I love you.”

 

It had also caught Chanyeol off-guard, as the latter’s eyes widened in surprise.

 

“I-is that true? You love me?”

 

Baekhyun smiled and nodded.

 

“To be honest, when I first returned with you, I was very sceptical. But as time flew past, I realised why I had managed to fall in love with you. If you would allow, can I call you my husband again?”

 

Chanyeol would never have imagined the day when his husband confessed to him once again to come so soon. He could feel the welled-up emotions threatening to escape.

 

“I-is it okay if I kiss you?”

 

Baekhyun shyly nodded. As Chanyeol’s face slowly approached his, Baekhyun swore his heart could’ve jumped out of his chest, but as soon as their lips met, it just felt so right, as if their lips were made for each other.

 

Chanyeol’s plump lips moving slowly against Baekhyun’s soft ones, a rhythm was found and they were enjoying the sweetness of each other. Suddenly, Baekhyun could feel Chanyeol’s tongue swiping across his bottom lip and he parted his lips slightly, granting the slick muscle access.

 

As they both licked into each other’s heated caverns, their bodies heated up and soon, Baekhyun was positioned on Chanyeol’s lap as their tongues slid against each other’s and teeth clacking against one another in heated passion, with hands up each other’s clothes and desperately feeling the heated skin of the other. Chanyeol broke the heated kiss, giving the both of them time to catch their breaths.

 

As Baekhyun breathed hard due to the lack of oxygen, feeling light-headed, he stared into Chanyeol’s dark brown orbs full of love and lust.

 

“Baek… Are you sure you want this?”

Baekhyun nodded, before crashing their lips together again. Chanyeol then hoisted his lapful of Baekhyun up and the smaller wrapped his legs around him so as to not fall, and the taller led them both to the bedroom.

 

That night, the two of them basked in the sweet pleasure of each other’s naked bodies under the sheets, sharing kisses and whispering sweet proclamations of love for each other. After they came down from their high, they hugged each other so tightly, as if afraid of losing the other. Before Baekhyun drifted off to dreamland due to exhaustion, he heard Chanyeol mutter under his breath, ‘Please don’t leave me again’.

 

_‘Again?’_ Baekhyun wanted to ask, but he was too tired to think about it, and just closed his eyes.

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun had expected the next morning to be awkward, but it was the opposite. He had woken up to the smell of bacon and the sound of sizzling; Chanyeol had woken up earlier to prepare breakfast. Despite the ache in his lower back and legs, Baekhyun took the time to wash up and change into a set of fresh clothes, before walking into the kitchen to greet his husband.

 

When he entered the kitchen, Chanyeol was already setting down the last plate of their breakfast.

 

“Oh, Baek! You’re awake! Come have breakfast before taking some aspirin. I bet you’re in pain now.”

 

Chanyeol smirked and Baekhyun lightly punched him in the arm for teasing.

 

The two of them ate breakfast in comfortable silence. However, Baekhyun was having an inner turmoil. Yes, he was rejoicing that they were finally lovers, but lovers don’t keep secrets from each other, right? The tiny guilt for digging through Chanyeol’s belongings never faded, along with the burning questions about the accident. That was why he made the decision to come clean with Chanyeol after breakfast.

 

After washing the dishes from breakfast and taking his pain-reliever pill, Baekhyun sat Chanyeol down on the sofa, before taking a seat beside him. Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun in confusion and asked what was wrong. Taking a deep breath, Baekhyun confessed.

 

“I’m sorry, on your last business trip, I went into your room.”

 

Chanyeol initially wanted to stroke Baekhyun on the head and say that it was okay to do so since technically it was his bedroom too, then he remembered the wooden box he tried to hide from the latter.

 

“T-that means that y-you found the box?”

 

Baekhyun lowered his head and nodded in shame. The weight of his guilt had lightened, but it didn’t mean that it had gone away completely.

 

“I’m sorry! I was just so curious about the contents of the box that I wanted to look through it once more!”

 

Chanyeol sighed exasperatedly, burying his face into his palms.

 

“Alright, so you’ve found out- “

 

“Who’s Park Jaehyun? He’s not our child, right? I’ve only seen photos of Minhee around.”

 

Chanyeol froze. Never had he thought that he would hear this name from Baekhyun again. Upon hearing that name, he knew that he had to come clean to Baekhyun. His memories would return sooner or later anyway.

 

“Baekhyun, are you sure you want to know the truth?”

 

“Please, Chanyeol. I know that you know something about the accident that no one knows.”

 

Chanyeol sighed.

 

“The moment I tell you everything I know, your perspective of everything, even yourself, will change.”

 

Baekhyun’s eyes hardened, determined to find out the truth.

 

“Please tell me.”

 

Chanyeol took a few deep breaths before starting his explanation.

 

“If you want to talk about the series of events that led up to the accident, then we’ve got to start from 2 years ago, around the time we got married. I was the luckiest man alive when you accepted my proposal, I swore that I would make you happy for the rest of our lives. But apparently, the luckiest one wasn’t me, but my brother…… You had an affair with my brother, Park Jaehyun……”

 

“A-an affair? H-how is that…”

 

Baekhyun was utterly shocked at the revelation that he had cheated on his husband with his brother-in-law. He didn’t believe that he actually did something so terrible.

 

“But the two of you hid it really well. No one suspected anything. _I_ didn’t suspect anything. I still believed that you, Minhee and I were still a perfect family…… But none of us actually expected that while I was at work and while Minhee was in school, Jaehyun would always come over and the two of you would…… You were a really good actor, acting as if you always loved me even though the only man in your heart was Jaehyun……”

 

Chanyeol choked at the recollection, sobs threatening to escape.

 

“The day of the accident. There was a typhoon warning sent to everyone. I was supposed to be in Hong Kong on that day, but I came back earlier since I had managed to clinch the deal already. Jaehyun was over back then, and you told Minhee that he would be staying over due to the pending typhoon. Of course, Minhee wouldn’t suspect anything, Jaehyun was her uncle for goodness sake. By the time I reached home, it was already past midnight, heavy rain was pouring outside and Minhee was already fast asleep. I initially planned to surprise you by slipping into bed, but the moment I opened our bedroom door……”

 

A tear slid down Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s cheek. Chanyeol’s heart ached from thinking back about discovering his husband’s infidelity, while Baekhyun felt incredibly guilty for cheating on such a perfect and loving husband, even though he didn’t remember anything.

 

Chanyeol breathed in a deep breath, calming himself down and willing himself not to cry, before continuing.

 

“I had caught you and Jaehyun in the act, having sex. The moment I saw you naked in the arms of not just any man, but my brother, I swore my heart shattered into pieces. The two of you heard me open the door, the two of you even turned your heads towards my direction, _you_ even made eye contact with me, but all you did was moan for Jaehyun to continue what he was doing. I swear I had half a mind to punch you adulterers, but at the back of my mind, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

 

By then, Baekhyun was already full on sobbing, face buried in his hands as he kept muttering out apologies.

 

“It’s okay, Baek. You don’t have to apologize since you don’t remember any of these. Anyway, after you guys were done, you just came out of the room as if nothing had happened. The two of us then argued, you even admitted to having an affair with Jaehyun since we got married. I was too heated at the moment to even know what we even shouted to each other, but I know we were loud enough to wake Minhee up. But as soon as you saw Minhee, you took her in your arms, and ran out of the house while dragging Jaehyun along. I guess you know what happened after that……”

 

Baekhyun didn’t know what to do after finding out what his past self was like. All he could do was cry and cry about the wrongful deeds he had done to an undeserving man like Chanyeol. He couldn’t see himself loving another and cheating on someone he had entrusted his life to. If he could travel back in time, definitely he would punch some sense into his past self, for being so blind and stupid and moral-less.

 

“I-I’m so sorry, C-Chanyeol. H-h-how could I have done something so t-terrible to you… And to think I was t-the one who caused Minhee’s death……”

 

Baekhyun felt that if it were not for his stupid acts, Chanyeol wouldn’t become heartbroken, Minhee wouldn’t have died, he wouldn’t have lost his memories; there were just too many ‘what if’s. Baekhyun continued to sob and scream upon finding out what a terrible man he once was.

 

Chanyeol’s heart broke once again upon seeing Baekhyun, the man he once- no, still loves, sobbing his heart and eyes out. He wanted to reach out and embraced a sobbing Baekhyun in his arms in an attempt to calm him down, but was only pushed away.

 

“No! After all the horrible deeds I’ve done, I don’t deserve to stay by your side!”

 

Baekhyun then ran out of the house after slipping on his shoes in a flash, with Chanyeol shouting his name to come back. Chanyeol tried to run after his husband, but the smaller was too fast and alas, lost him.

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun wasn’t sure how many hours he had been wandering aimlessly around; he didn’t even know where he was at that moment, all he knew was that the sun had already set and Chanyeol must be dead worried about him. He wanted to run back to Chanyeol, but how can he face the guy he loves when all he did was hurt him. He couldn’t even contact anyone as he didn’t bring his handphone or wallet along, and he didn’t remember the apartment’s address so hailing a taxi was out of the question. All Baekhyun could do was wish for a miracle, for Chanyeol or anyone to find him.

 

Somehow his legs had brought him to a park, so he decided to take a seat on one of the benches to soothe his aching legs. However, it seemed as if the heavens were toying with him as 5 minutes after he sat down, it started pouring heavily.

 

Flustered and not wanting to get soaked to the bone, he quickly ran to find the nearest shelter, and luckily there was a pavilion nearby. It was small and lacked seats, so Baekhyun decided to sit at the corner. With his legs brought towards his chest, he tried to hug himself closer to keep himself warmer. The cold wind blowing and him being drenched, along with all the events that had happened earlier, Baekhyun was so mentally exhausted that he started to cry.

 

A tear soon turned into sobs; no one was there to comfort him. _This is what I deserve after all the evil-doings I have done_ , Baekhyun thought. He continued to scream and cry, face buried in him arms.

 

He didn’t know how long he had been crying, when suddenly he heard shouts of ‘Baekhyun!’. Looking up with blurry vision from his tears, he saw a figure holding an umbrella standing in front of him, which slowly morphed into the shape of the person he was missing.

 

“C-Chanyeol?”

 

The person in front of him gave a sigh of relief before dropping the umbrella and squatting down to give his shivering figure a warm hug.

 

“Baekhyun, you’ve worried all of us!”

 

Baekhyun allowed himself to bask in the body warmth of the other, as he continued to cry out apologies, words and sobs muffled by the other’s clothes. Meanwhile, Chanyeol could only stroke the other’s head to comfort him, telling him that everything would be alright.

 

They didn’t know how long they had been in that position, but Baekhyun’s sobs had finally subsided.

 

“Come on, Baekhyun. Let’s go home; we have to update Kyungsoo and Jongin, they’re out there searching for you too.”

 

* * *

 

Back home, Baekhyun was freshly showered and cuddled under the warm blankets of Chanyeol’s- no, their bed. Chanyeol was also with him, all washed up, hugging the smaller who was still slightly shivering.

 

“I’m sorry, Chanyeol.”

 

“It’s okay, I understand. Just don’t run away without anything on you again, so that we won’t be so worried.”

 

Baekhyun nodded as he buried his face into Chanyeol’s chest, while the other was stroking the freshly blown-dried hair of the smaller.

 

“But how did you know where to find me?”

 

Chanyeol chuckled, as if Baekhyun had just asked a stupid question.

 

“I don’t think you remember it, but that was where I proposed to you. I guess your body must’ve automatically brought you there. I looked for you at every single place we had a memory together.”

 

Baekhyun stiffened at the mention of the past, recalling the narration of the series of events that had led up to the accident. He trembled, a sob threatening to escape when Chanyeol brought him closer to his body.

 

“Don’t bring up the past anymore, Baek. It’s all behind us now. Just be together with me from now on and don’t ever leave me again, will you, Baek?”

 

Baekhyun wanted to cry once more, not from grief and guilt, but he was deeply emotional at how Chanyeol was treating him. He had once cheated on the other badly, even causing the death of a daughter and a brother, yet the other still loved him so deeply.

 

Baekhyun cuddled closer to Chanyeol as he swore to himself that he would never love another as much as Chanyeol, never to repeat his past mistakes.

 

He might have lost his memories, both good and bad ones, but ultimately, he had found true and genuine love once more.

 

_When I find love again, when I find love again_ _I_

_'ll be much better than the man I used to be_

_When I find love again, when I find love again_

_I'll have a better plan for us_

_\- James Blunt_


End file.
